Remarkably Coherent, if Tired

Jul. 27th, 2017 07:55 pm
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[personal profile] aivix
Filmed my last task for my pathology class today. I'm hoping it's passable; I'll be spending the weekend getting the editing done and the jump drive ready to mail to my prof. Fingers crossed, I'll get out of this class with a passing video and my sanity intact.

My goddaughter's birthday party was last weekend, but her 1st birthday is Saturday. Not sure what I'll wind up doing, but I imagine when I start to lose my grip on reality, I'll head over there with a small gift.

I've felt some vague desire to write the last few days. Not SGA, but NCIS: someone going over to Gibbs' house, finding the door locked and peering through a window to see a new TV secured to the wall with an array of kids' toys on the floor. New couch, baby gates, etc. I think my brain has latched onto all the 'Gibbs raises Tony' stories and turned it into a more... canon compliant Gibbs/Tony + Tali. Then I pull out a scrap of paper while I do the records scanning at work (scanner is in the kennel and out of sight of my coworkers) and my brain goes, "Erm, maybe later." Frustrating, that, but it might come spilling out once the stress of the semester is over.

As for fic, I've had the attention span of a pez candy this week and haven't read much, let alone written. We'll see what Saturday brings, but I have gotten back to commenting on the fic prompt comms I follow. I try to remember to check the LJ app before morning appointments; I'm going to have to remember to charge up the Kindle so I can have it for my lunch break. (Which... anyone have some book recs? I've been re-reading Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter when I can get myself to focus.)

Chester... I'm still feeling sad when I think about him, still not interested in listening to anything but Linkin Park on repeat. That, too, has been why I'm having trouble getting focused. But I know, as with the time after my brother passed, it ebbs.

Saving Hope

Jul. 23rd, 2017 06:35 pm
aivix: (Daniel Wants Sleep)
[personal profile] aivix
I just bought myself the Pilot episode, since I've seen some posts and tweets about it. I'm hoping it'll be something I get hooked on since Michael Shanks, especially since Amazon has it and I won't have to go through a VPN to watch it like I was having to do with Torri Higginson's show, This Life.

So potential new fandom, because I need another. I'm still indulging in Stargate, of course, but I haven't been interested in ST or MCU, both of which I used to spend massive amounts of time writing for the kink memes. And I adore comment_fic, but I've been a bit blasé about writing for the fandoms I know best. A bit of writer's block perhaps, since the video for Pathology class has me a wee stressed, though new fandoms always break that up nicely.

I know at least one person on my flist has seen it, anyone else? Am I going to be hooked?

Chester Bennington

Jul. 20th, 2017 06:32 pm
aivix: (Hedwig)
[personal profile] aivix
I've come to one conclusion in my life over music: it is powerful. It brings back memories that are painful and wonderful, it provides a soundtrack to my days... it gives me inspiration when I write. And I feel many people feel the same, cherishing bands and songs that remain special to them.

So I hope that it's not weird when I say that I am devastated by Chester Bennington's death. Linkin Park is a standby in my life, the only band that I adore every track on their albums and something I listen to in good times and bad. Somewhere I Belong is burned in my memory from my senior year of undergrad; What I've Done gets played every time I have a terrible day at work. I can belt out Nobody's Listening and Faint without thinking, and I still know the track listings of Hybrid Theory, Reanimation, and Meteora.

I feel strange as I admit I'm feel sadness over the passing of someone I didn't know or have any relation to, but I realize I do feel loss. Perhaps because he, in a way, was there with the music that (oddly, I know) gave me comfort when I was at the height of my ED, in the last terrible year of High School, and when my brother died and I was grieving him. I had just talked about going to an LP concert, too, looking forward to potentially taking a day off in August to see the band perform in NYC.

In the very least, I hope his family and his friends will find some level of comfort in knowing the fans grieve him too. And tomorrow I'll make a donation to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline and to TWLOHA.

Rest well, Chester. May you have found peace at last.

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